Penelope's Decision
by klcm
Summary: Garcia's taking charge and making three new steps in her life, and somehow they all involve Morgan
1. The Break Up

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, neither Criminal Minds or the song are mine! **

**A/N:**_There was one ickle, bickle bit of a song that was nagging me with inspiration so I ran with it and this was born!_

_Thank the awesome Wordofwyrd for making this a THREEshot! =)_

_**Song:**__ The Saturday's – Higher _(**Mini FYI:** Not sure if they're big outside of the UK =P lol)

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

_**So when I speak listen,  
This is my decision,  
And you keep on messing up the words oh, oh,  
So when I speak listen **_

_**cause you keep on pushing like I need permission to be heard.**_

Penelope paced, not out of nerves, but out of sheer frustration. She'd had a near epiphany earlier that day, and it'd drawn her to this point.

"You need to shut up, Kevin, and allow me to speak because, God Forbid it, I will attach the biggest virus to your computer system if you don't let me finish!"

"Penelope, baby, you gotta let me argue my side." Kevin said nervously he stood to copy her pace, to get her to listen.

"No." Penelope said as she stopped, Kevin's hands immediately went to grab hers and she slapped them away. "I can't keep this..."

"Don't do this, Penelope." Kevin said fearful at how that sentence was going to finish. "Please, don't leave me."

Penelope looked at the desperation in his face and she felt her gut clench. He loved her so God damn much and it was clearly written all over his face and that was the hardest part. He really, truly loved her.

But Penelope didn't really, truly love him and that was the killer part for her.

She watched his eyes saddened and he stood before her like a little sad puppy and her heart palpitated. She looked down, away from his affecting glare and shook her head.

"I can't anymore Kevin. I'm sorry." She whispered to him painfully and Kevin grabbed her hands. "I don't want..."

"Yes you do, it's just a mad moment Penny. You know it. It's the after case woes." He tried his hardest to get her to accept that this wasn't their ending.

Penelope knew it was after case woes, but she also knew that the last case had spoken more than just a similar victim-unsub situation. It was the back story. The lives she'd dug through, the lives she'd fallen in love for, the love story that had unravelled with the horror.

It made her realise that she didn't have a love story, or a potential one, with Kevin.

She didn't know, or want to acknowledge, who she saw that type of story with. At that present time there was no one that was going to be her grey haired love of her life in 50 years.

She'd read and read how the couples attacked had been married for years. Were still as in love with one another as they were the day they met. She'd read letters that the older couples had sent one another. The notes that the younger ones had sent in hours of needs.

Each couple were madly in love, yet one of the pair lived on the front line of a war and love letters were their heart line, was their life line to the other.

That was the tie between each new murder – love. And that was ultimately, what had hit Penelope the most. She didn't know a love this strong, she'd never experienced it and as she reflected, she wasn't going to do when she was stuck in a dead beat relationship with Kevin.

So she'd stood in his apartment for the last 4 hours, trying her hardest to get the perfectly formed words out of her mouth.

To break this off.

"I- I can't Kevin." She said as she finally looked him in the eyes.

Kevin's eyes watered. "I love you, Penelope. I'd give my life for you, I'd give anything for your happiness. I love you enough to do that."

Penelope's mouth opened to speak, but only air escaped.

"I'd pull you out of the way from an oncoming car, I'd replace you at work just to keep your sanity safe, and I'd give you my heart if you needed it. You name it, everything is yours."

"You're making this too hard." Penelope whispered at him as she felt despair and regret filtered in.

"I love you, Penelope!" He said as he grabbed her arms. "I'm in love with you! I want you to marry me! Have my children! Get old with me, because I love you too much to let you go!"

"I can't!" Penelope yelled at him, she was not about to let Kevin speak over her, he was going to listen. "To keep this going would be a lie, Kevin." He voice lowered a lot now. "I'm not the girl for you; I'm not going to keep you satisfied. I don't love you enough to be that."

Kevin's hands now dropped.

"I see." He told her sadly. "I guess that nothing I said will change your thoughts?"

"I'm sorry, Kevin, it's just..."

"I get it, you've moved on." Kevin said as he walked away from her.

"It's not you..."

Kevin cut her off again. "That little saying, its not you it's me, of course it is."

Penelope stepped forward. The need to comfort magnifying within her. "This case, it just, I don't know, it made me reassess what I want from life and Kevin, I can't keep you from getting a happy future because neither of us want to be alone at our age."

"I knew the job would eventually kill us, I just didn't expect it to be this soon." Kevin told her as he finally turned back to her.

"I didn't plan it. It just happened. I mean those couples were so in love with one another and the more I looked into it and the more I read those letter, the more I realised that we don't feel as strongly for one another as those do."

"Why are you judging out relationship on someone else's?" Kevin asked confused somewhat. "I mean, you don't do that."

"I'm not judging our relationship exactly. I'm judging my ability to love you and I don't love you that much, not as much as I should. I do love you, but it's never going to be enough."

"So it's not about another man?"

Penelope was grief stricken by that. "No way." She answered him taken back somewhat. "This is about me and you, Kevin. There's no one else involved. It's just us." She turned and went into the kitchen and got one of her overnight bags from the cupboard, she then went and packed her clothes up without another word.

Kevin rested against the back the couch, his eyes tracing her every elegant move. He watched the woman he loved with his entire heart pack the two years of their life together away. His heart felt incomplete now.

"If there's anything I've forgotten then bring it by, or post it. You can come and get your things from mine whenever you want them." Penelope said, a weird feeling eloping her. "I really am sorry." She said and put the bag down, before pulling him into a hug. "I do love you, Kevin."

"Just not enough." Kevin replied as he clung on for dear life, hoping that his desperation for her to stay would show.

"This is for the best. It'll save us a lot of heartbreak in the future."

"Doesn't feel like it." Kevin bit back and Penelope flinched at the pain she was inflicting, she knew she needed to get out and now.

"I didn't want to hurt you." She kissed his cheek and then gathered her things and left his apartment.

Kevin watched the door close before he broke and dropped to the floor.

Penelope heard his outburst, an anger filled sob rung out as the door clicked shut and emptiness filled her, she didn't feel free now, she felt like she'd murdered someone.

That was not her intention at all.

She got outside of the walls of the building and looked up at the partially cloudy sky and beckoned it for answers. It hailed none and she realised that only she could answer this heat of the moment break up. She needed to leave Kevin's block, she needed to get away because if she didn't she would more than likely run back and beg for forgiveness and let Kevin take her back.

She needed her mind to be settled and clear on what her life was going to do.

After all Penelope was now taking a plan of action. It was her life, she could do with it as she pleased and she was set out to answer to Penelope's decisions and no one else's.

She just needed to decide what other decisions were joining her after choosing to break up with the longest relationship she'd ever had.

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

**A/N:** _Only two more chapters! A lot can happen! =) _

_Love it? Hate it? Rate it! _


	2. The Friendship

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, neither Criminal Minds or the song are mine! **

**A/N:**_Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites =) _

_Second chapter for you guys! Enjoy! _

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

Penelope had gone to the park, sat for a while, before getting too cold, she'd then gone to a bar, but didn't want alcohol and needy men to grope her, she took herself to a restaurant but didn't need food of such calibre and so she ended up at a diner.

_Again._

It was the fourth place on her list and the fourth place she'd come with Derek. Or at least used to do so, she never did anymore. They weren't in one another's pockets as much as they once were and she guessed it was life's great grand plan that made that so.

She looked around the classical decorated diner, she'd spent her time here nightly since the last case had begun, come here to sort her head out and she guessed everything combined just did that.

It was just in the moment she sat there she realised just how much she needed her best friend.

"Same as always, Pen?" Jo, the waitress that worked the night shift asked.

"Erm..." Penelope grabbed the menu and read it quickly. "Can I just get a coffee for now?" She asked and put the menu down.

"I'll just get it for you." Jo said and left, knowing something was off.

Penelope looked to her right, at the bag next to her, and her heart clenched again, had she really just ended that relationship? For what real reason did she have to throw something that could potentially blossom and swell with undying love?

Then the thought hit her. Her entire love life of two years fitted in those bags there. All of her material goods fitted into one bag.

That showed that the relationship was a sinking ship.

She looked into the black abyss that was her coffee once she got it and just caught glance of her phone going off.

"Hello?" She answered it just in time before voicemail caught it.

"Hey, Baby Girl." Derek's voice breezed down the line. "Where you at?"

"Just around." Penelope said and sat up straight, he was tired, it was getting late, he'd only just got in, she was not going to worry him. "Why don't you take that sexy sculpted block of chocolate body to bed, handsome? You must be tired."

"I have other matters." He deflected her some.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" She said as she put her elbow to the table and leant on her palm. "Enlighten me, Stud."

Derek could hear every ounce of pain that Penelope was trying her hardest to hide. "Where are you?"

"I'm out and about... I'm fine, now why aren't you listening to me?"

"Because you're not answering me." Derek replied and Penelope knew her game was up; she just closed her eyes at the tears and bit her lip. "I know the case was a little hard, and I know that with you and Kevin being all loved up as you are, you know, it must have hit a sensitive spot..."

"I'm fine, Derek, now leave it be and get some rest." Penelope snapped and put the phone down, her heart panged with more pain, she hadn't meant to be that mean.

It was just that Derek Morgan was right, as always, but this time for the wrong reasons.

Derek had known something was wrong the moment the phone line cut off and he was left with an incessant bleep.

That'd been his call out for help, so instead of pulling out of the BAU garage to go home, he went hunting to find Penelope. The moment he pulled up at the diner car park he saw her and his worry dispersed.

He cut the engine off and climbed out, locking the door as he went for the entrance. It wasn't until he pushed the door open that he realised that he had every reason to worry for her.

"Two chocolate milkshakes, for that table there." He pointed to Penelope and the waitress smiled and wrote the order down. "Thanks." He said and went over to Penelope; he saw the bag and her slumped shoulders. "Gonna talk to me now, without the ability to cut the call off?"

"I told you to go home... you've gotta be tired."

"Like I said I have other matters." Derek told her and smiled as he profiled her a little. "So what's up?"

Penelope let his presence circle her, his soft voice feel his head and she realised that however long they were separated they'd always return to one another unchanged.

"I dumped Kevin." She said and her hands clasped on the table in front of her as the tears that hadn't fallen, but had waited, finally fell strongly. "I-I just ended it."

"Why?" Derek asked her as he leant in and put his hands on hers, covering them completely.

"I don't love him enough, Handsome, I need to love him wholeheartedly and I don't." She sniffed at him and he could see the sadness at her decision. "Ever... ever since reading those letters I just felt like I'd never felt a love that strong and binding and I want it and the decision I made... It was..."

"Hard?" Derek finished for her and she nodded at him as her hands finally moved and she held his hands. "It'll get better. Someone like you deserves a love that strong and I firmly believe it's out there."

"What if it isn't? I don't have all the time in the world to be picky."

"No, but you have all the time in the world to know what you deserve and don't deserve, Baby." Derek told her because if anyone knew better then it was him, Penelope deserved worldly goods that would keep her happy for life, she deserved a lifetime of love that was never ending and a love that was meant for forever, not for a whirlwind.

"But he loves me Derek. Kevin is really in love with me, he even wants to marry me and I just broke his heart. I'm the monster in all of this."

"Hell no, Baby Girl, you do not get to speak like that. You cannot marry someone because they love you, regardless of that. That does not make a fairytale ending that a beautiful woman like you deserves."

Penelope smiled at him and looked as two milkshakes come their way.

"You're in need of some best friend time and milkshakes." Derek told her as they finally parted and sat back up, he shot her a smile and Penelope smiled a little broader. "Now drink up. I wasn't the only one that worked their sweet arse off on that case."

"You're the best you know that right?"

"So I'm told." Derek quipped with a cheeky grin and grabbed his milkshake and put the straw to his lips. "Drink, now, Baby Girl." He ordered her before taking a large slurp of the drink.

Penelope drank her drink. She was beyond lucky to have Derek in her life. It was something she'd have to cherish for life. Not everyone had a best friend like him. Derek Morgan was one of a kind.

"It took me four hours." Penelope said as she finished swallowing the cold drink, she looked up at him. "He wouldn't let me speak, he was begging me not to do it, and he looked so sad and desperate to keep me and I just couldn't stand there and accept that this didn't need to be end of us."

"You did what you had to do." Derek told her knowingly. "It wouldn't have been fair in the long run to keep it going." He stirred his shakes with the straw and shrugged. "Not on you or Kevin."

Derek didn't look up from his milkshake. In one sense he was elated that Penelope was single at last. In another he was sad that she was so tortured over her own happiness.

He finally looked up as Penelope put the straw to her lips. He wanted those lips to kiss him, to allow him to find out if all his dreams were worth it.

Yet he wouldn't allow himself to be a rebound item for her. Regardless of whether she ended it or not, he refused to be the one that copped the wrong end and got the bad deal. He would be her best friend, the one that she'd idolise for a while and then he'd make his move.

He was playing a dangerous game, but he wasn't about to let her go.

"I kinder love you, Derek Morgan." Penelope whispered gratefully at him as the silence settled between them easily. A memory for them both being concocted back up in their heads.

He looked up and saw her eyes glistening at him. Taking her hand in his he held it strongly.

"I kinder love you, Penelope Garcia."

Looking at her best friend, feeling his touch, all Penelope felt was electricity as her heart fluttered at that one sentence.

It was enough to be ignored, forgotten, even lost.

"Let's get you home, Princess." Was all she heard as he got up and threw down some money, grabbed her bag and her hand and walked with his hand in hers to his SUV.

Their friendship strengthening with each and every step they took together.

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

**A/N:** _So this was going to be it... BUT... someone (WORDOFWYRD) wanted to see a THREEshot happen, with the perfect ending =P_

_Nath, the next chapters for you! _


	3. The Romance

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, neither Criminal Minds or the song are mine! **

**A/N:**_The third and final chapter... This is for Wordofwyrd... without her this wouldn't have been born!_

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

"So what did you say your name was again, Red?" Asked the man at the bar again as he tried his hardest to impress Penelope.

She'd cringed as he'd used a nickname only Derek used on her.

Penelope sighed. "Wasting your time, sweet cheeks." She told him and picked up her martini and went back to her table with the team. She slipped into her seat and looked over at the dance floor. She smiled a little.

Derek was getting his thing on and so he should. It was a Friday night out and he was enjoying himself. Something she loved to see. He looked so free and happy, so comfortable and absolutely sensual as the women flew in for a bit of him.

She felt her heart clamp.

It was the same feeling she got every time she saw a woman go for Derek. Pure, utter jealously ran her veins. Yet what did she have to be jealous of? Derek wasn't her man; they'd made no steps to saying anything of such sorts.

Not even in the last 5 months since her break up from Kevin.

Penelope rubbed the back of her neck and looked over at the handsome man propping up the bar. He was watching her – _still_. She should've been flattered, but he wasn't the first man to show interest. Nor would he be the last. Over the months of living in singleton she'd found men did literally try their hardest for a bit of time with her, but she brushed them off.

Except for when Derek was around. Then she encouraged it, she giggled on cue, smiled appropriately, put her hand on the man's arm or leg, she did everything to be the more sexual being. She was literally being a peacock, showing off her perfectly made attributes, and she was not aiming them at the men vying for her attention.

She was doing it as a display for Derek.

It was as Penelope sat there and watched him that she felt a familiar flutter in her. She was in love with someone, and she could finally see herself getting grey with someone, and living happily ever after.

It was just a shame it was with someone that didn't see it with her.

She downed the rest of her drink. "Excuse me." She told Hotch and JJ as she got an envelope out of her bag and dropped down from her stall and went towards the entrance.

She completely missed Derek watching her every move above the crowd.

Hotch noticed Derek though, and he could profile from his seat what was happening. Both Derek and Penelope were going about showing the other they love one another in an entirely wrong way.

Penelope sucked in a deep breath and looked both ways outside of the bar, she saw an empty bench and went there, she sat down, the skirt of her dress flaring out either side of her.

She looked at the envelope in her hands and saw Derek's writing on the front, crawling out her name in oversized lettering.

She finally opened.

It'd sat in front of her for hours that day, she'd been in refusal to open it and now she had to. She had to know what the hell was so God damn important for her hunk of burning love to write and not say.

It was within the first sentence that she realised what exactly.

_Penelope,_

_I didn't call you Baby Girl that day for nothing. I knew one day you'd open your eyes and see what we can have together. You just needed time to catch up. To wake up and smell the roses and see that, Baby, you've had a man that loves you, the entire you._

_I know you're a hopeless romantic and you believe in the old fashion ways of love, but, Sweetness, what's old fashioned about us? We're nothing traditional because we started our own traditions from day one._

_We're a married couple without the license as it is. We just need that piece of paper and your surname changed for you and me to be well and truly on our way to our happily ever after._

_I'm not going to write those three little words because paper doesn't deserve them._

_Until you're ready, I'll be waiting._

_Derek_

Penelope blinked her eyes, trying her hardest to clear them of tears, trying to remove the clamp that was holding her heart. Her mind reminded her of the men that had tried it on with her, and the women that wanted Derek.

Derek watched Penelope from the door way, he saw her shakily shove the letter into the envelope and then wipe her face.

He'd wait for her.

For now he was going to go back and tease some women. He just needed to wait for the best part of his act to arrive. Penelope was the piece that would complete him and completely annihilate anyone's chances of getting a chance with him.

Penelope stood up, straightened her dress down and turned back to the bar, she went straight through the door and over to her bag. She put the letter in and smiled sweetly at her girls and boss before swivelling her body to the dance floor.

She tracked down Derek; he looked at her instinctively as she charged towards him. She had no idea how it happened but a runway made itself occur for her to get a direct go at him and the moment she was by him she pushed him backwards.

It was her first thing to do. To relieve some of the stress she'd been bubbling away with. She'd had this all wrong, he'd loved her and she'd blanked it.

"Baby..." He didn't get another go as she pushed him again. "Penelope." He said above the music and grabbed her arms. "What the..."

He didn't get a chance to finish, Penelope reached up and kissed his lips, at first scared, timid, reluctant, but it was as the surge of power flew through them both that she decided to give in and went all out.

Derek loosened his grip on her arms and felt them wrap around his neck. He threaded his arms around her, pulling her up comfortably, keeping her close, telling her he wanted more, because he did.

In that moment Derek wanted everything Penelope had, he wanted her to show him every single emotion she felt for him.

Penelope gave her all until air supply began to shorten and she had to part from his perfect lips. She looked up, her breathing racy, her eyes lustful, her arms unrelenting.

"God, I love you so much." She said as though she was saying Good Morning, or drawing a simple breath. "You make me crazy in love without me even knowing it, Handsome."

"You've always known, I've just waited for you to catch up that's all." Derek teased her and dropped in for another kiss, this one not ending. "I love you, Baby Girl." He told her back and smiled. "I'd rather made you hear me say it, then read it when I write it." He told her sincerely. "Well the first time at least."

"Say it again."

"I love you, Penelope Garcia." He told her easily, his voice calm, his grin full of cheek, his eyes showing signs of passion. His entire look could seduce her there and then on that dance floor if he did the right move. "I've wanted you for you too long, and ever since Kevin and you breaking up, I've been waiting for you to just catch up."

"I've caught up." She assured him at last with wicked smile, a glint in her eyes.

"Is that your final decision?"

"It's my only decision." She said and pulled him tighter to her. "I wanna see you old, Hot Stuff, very, very old." Was the last thing Derek coherently heard as he and Penelope got lost in one another's new found existence.

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Penelope's Decisions -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

**A/N:** _Ta da! The end! Hope you liked it! Especially you, Nath! =P_

_Thanks for reading, reviewing ,alerting, favouriting =)_


End file.
